Commitment, Emotion & Working-Relationships
You never stop learning, and you learn the most when you are hurting or failing.
You understand your vulnerabilities, weaknesses, strengths and priorities. You understand the value of things you took for granted and you realize the hurdles that stopped your growth.
Most importantly, you learn how far you can go, things can go and what good and bad they can bring as they progress. Hurting/failing is not always bad, as it often shows you the strengths you did not recognize that you had within you, and wisdom you did not think you were mature enough to carryout.
There is a difference between being committed and doing too much.
If you are committed and loyal to something, someone, give you best but you must stay vigilant to not confuse loyalty and commitment with obligation and subordination beyond fairness. If you are giving your best, it has to originate from your will and desire to give, not from an obligation to please anyone. You bring damage to both parties when you start doing things in an obligation, instead of being committed to them.
Also, NEVER and I repeat NEVER assure something because you want to see the other person smiling and growing. Give an assurance only if you know it is possible and is fair to yourself. When you over-commit, even with good intention, and to make them feel good, often you end up causing yourself immense stress and other party is left dissatisfied. Not to mention, the negative energy that starts into the entire dealing.
Assure what you can do and what is fair on yourself to be ask of.
If it is too much, too soon, too little, too taxing, too consuming, too draining or unrealistic, STOP. THINK. Politely either say NO or that you need MORE time/resources/input/contribution/participation before you can deliver. It helps create realistic goals, accurate expectations and most importantly, stress-free and pleasant work relationship.
I have learnt this by making mistakes, and often finding blame in my own actions, instead of practically and realistically seeing from the outside, where the exact problem lies – often, in over-commitment, over-expectations and over-promising. Often, the problem also lies in not stopping to honor the boundary and keep going to give more, and sometimes beyond fair.
It may not be your intention to under-deliver or give less, but promising or giving too much, can cause you stress, drain you to the core and can impact your productivity and commitment. Not to mention, creating false expectations and negative working-relationship.
You are being your own friend, and that of the other party, by balancing
- How much you accept to do
- What do you agree to do
- When you promise delivery, and
- What terms are you agreeing to deliver at
Honor this simple and realistic approach for yourself, and them. Business or personal, this is an important mantra to believe in.
You’ll be glad you did!