Facebook and ALSO Facebook .. ⋆ Szebastian Onne G. S.

It is Facebook and Also Facebook against each other!

For this one, I think I will let Facebook do the talking, as it would be unfair for me to share any opinion, and be accused of having a bias against the brand. I really don’t. I love the brand and business model, I just don’t know how to be heartless enough to fool the masses to get filthy rich and not give a damn to democracies being destroyed, communities being wiped off and still say with ‘completely lifeless straight face’ that ‘We care!’.

Facebook: This is where you connect with your real life friends only, the people you know.

Also Facebook: Hey you might know Sean’s cousin’s mom’s brother’s wife’s nephew’s girlfriend, Add her now.

Also Facebook: Hey you aren’t adding many people, also add Michael, Nancy, Raj, Rouwa, Sally, Mekin. You don’t know them but someone you know, knows them. Don’t worry about who is that someone, just add them already.

Also Facebook: Oi, you are adding too many people you don’t know. You are hereby jailed for 2 days

Also Facebook: It has been 1.5 days, you aren’t posting anything, what’s on your mind?

Also Facebook: Are you trying to talk when you have been jailed? Your jail time is extend to another 7 days.

Also Facebook: You have not posted on your page in 4 days. People are waiting on your page. Post something, here’s a few tips.

Also Facebook: You keep trying to post things. You know what you are on our red-list and we are going to censor every word you post. Grammar mistakes included.

Also Facebook: We miss you, its been 5th day we have not heard from you. C’mon say something.

Also Facebook: You don’t post enough. We are going to hide your posts from your friends, you might as well not be seen.

Also Facebook: Post more, talk more, share more, then we will let your friends know you exist.

Also Facebook: OMG, did you just dare to have an opinion? Your life is against our community standards. You’ve been warned.

Also Facebook: Your friends are talking about this topic, you should join them.

Also Facebook: You just reported someone for using hate speech. Sorry the hate speech is not grammatically hateful so it does not go against our community standards.

Also Facebook: Someone just told us that your valid opinion perfectly stated in accurate grammar hurt their prejudice. You are acting against our community standards, behave or else.

Also Facebook: Hey post things and earn from being actively vocal and visible

Also Facebook: Why did you post that? Your business page is being watched for violations.

Also Facebook: C’mon advertise on your business page, give us money, we will make you rich.

Also Facebook: Dude, your business is body shaming people by asking them to eat healthy and sleep on time. This is your final warning. And your ad account is disabled.

Also Facebook: Ignore everything we said, let’s check-out this new feature together.

Also Facebook: Did you try to do what we asked you to do? That’s it, you are banned, deleted. BYE

[Facebook whispers in your ears, “BTW, you idiot, while you were trying to figure out my instructions, I became $933 Billion Rich and Mark has his own $115 Billion Pocket-Money, as you are probably going broke. The joke is on you! HAHAHAHA!]

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If you struggle with Facebook and often find yourself in Facebook Jail, let’s talk. I can teach you tips and methods to remain Facebook compliant without compromising your creativity and expression .. almost!

PS: Don’t forget to check-out my article on protecting yourself from Phishing Email Scammers.

I am here, because I care and because I give a damn! – xoyox – Szebastian